The Missionary Oblates of Mary Immaculate serve poor and abandoned people in the United States and 70 countries around the world.

Fr. Gil Boucher “Humors” Us With His Catholic Dictionary

Fr. Gil Boucher, OMI

It’s been said that a good sense of humor is an essential part of being a priest. If that’s true, Oblate Father Gil Boucher must be a very good one. When he wasn’t compiling Gospel stories for his homilies, he was compiling witty definitions which he published in two books: “Fr. Gloat Gleanings” Book 1 and Book 2.

Fr. Boucher gives credit to Father Alphonse Breault, OMI, a “preacher of parish missions with a wide-spread reputation as a healer. ..as an inspiration to gather stories, one-liners and jokes of every kind.”

Below is a sample of his work, hopefully it will lighten up your day.

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: 1. Parish information, read only during the homily/sermon. 2. Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

RECESSIONAL HYYM: The last song at Mass, often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams.

JONAH: The original “Jaws” story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER: 1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn’t covered by an HMO. 2. The Bible’s way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic Churches.

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass, consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass–led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don’t know the seating capacity of a pew.

 The complete compilations are available also on the Mission-Unity-Dialogue website, Christian Joy page, www.harrywinter.org.

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